Living life and figuring it out, one little piece at a time

Wednesday 12 June 2013

It is a good day in the life

It feels so good to be writing what I'm writing tonight.  Midterms are the day after tomorrow, and I'm starting to feel ready for them.  Placement is going extremely well.  Actually, this week it has been a bit on the slow side, but if you've read my other blog posts you'll know I don't exactly have a problem with that! 

Now that I think about it this has probably been my first post since the senior year placements have begun.  What a story to tell!  I'm feeling good and settled into this new clinic.

By gosh there was one hell of a learning curve to move through before I got to this place of somewhat "balance". Hard enough that I even started to daydream about what my life would be like if I just quit school right now and became a stay at home mom again. (HA!). But no really, I guess that's just indicative of how big of an adjustment it is to move into a new role and back into a challenging lifestyle. Finding childcare in a brand new community was not easy. I think when all was said and done, we interviewed over 20 people. Right now, we are juggling 3 different childcare providers to make sure all times that my partner is away are covered.  I also chopped my dreadlocks off right before I started, because I was so darn worried about being judged by clients and preceptors and dripping wet hair on someone if I got paged right after a long shower.  I do have to say I miss them (I always do when I don't have them, I've cycled through this a couple of times now) but this is my first time with short(ish) hair and I'm enjoying it all right.  But really now that I'm here, I realize the dreds would have been just. fine. 

Also, although my third year was spent in many dynamic roles, what it wasn't strong in was clinical opportunities.  I learned a lot of things, more at some placements than others, and many of those things do inform how I'm learning right now, for sure.  But being a midwife felt like it was completely brand spanking new to me again.  It had been a year since I had given an informed choice discussion.  A year since I had taken blood.  Almost a year since I had even caught a baby! It was a bit unnerving. 

Thankfully the clinic I'm placed in has been fabulously supportive.  I'm in an environment of tremendously friendly and supportive people who know what kind of feedback helps me to learn and empowers me at the same time.  So, despite the challenging first couple of weeks where I felt like an idiot making a thousand mistakes on things that I used to be *SO GOOD* at, they got me through it and over the course of some of our busier points, had me feeling pretty darn good about things.

So I guess that's a pretty good way to end the note on things.  I almost wish that I could move back in time a month or two and read this so I could have worried less.

In memory of the departed dreadlocks.  May they rest in peace. 
And also in memory of that awesome retreat.  May I never forget the joy that rhythm and dance bring to me.