Living life and figuring it out, one little piece at a time

Tuesday 3 June 2014

Feeling so good

Do you ever just have those days where you just can't believe how sweet life is?  I'm having one of those kind of days.  I'm having them a lot lately, actually, and up until the last little while, I would have told you it's been a long time since I'd had any of these kinds of days.


The kids are in school.  One of them is home a couple days a week, but I still get at least 3 days a week to myself at home.  Sometimes with Jamie, sometimes on my own.  I'm indulging myself by going to the gym, or a run, or a good yoga session, pretty much daily.  I'm finally starting to feel stronger - in body, mind, and spirit.  This is EXACTLY what I had been hoping would happen during that transitional time between school and working.

All of the new midwives in Ontario right now are awaiting approval from the Ministry before we are allowed to work in the place that has offered us a job position, regardless of when that start time was intended to be (for me, that start time would have been a week ago).  Last year, approval came through at the end of May.  But this year, there's an election happening in Ontario, which apparently means that everything gets put on the backburner until the province's politics are sorted out.  I can feel the tension rising as each day passes and we get no news.  Personally, I'm not feeling surprised as each day passes and there's no news.  I'm setting my sights for a couple more weeks, to be realistic.  And although I'm missing midwifery, and really enjoy being busy, and am infinitely curious about what working in my new community is going to be like, and eager to get my feet wet as a midwife who can act on her own responsibility, I'm just taking a nice big breath, and savouring it.  Savouring the many opportunities that I'm getting to do whatever I feel like doing.  Savouring the ability to put my phone down and not pick it up until *never*. (Okay, I'm not quite there yet, but I relish the detachment I can have from it when I'm off call).  Savouring every school drop off and pickup, and bike ride to the park, and leisurely days with playdates, or crafts, or WHATEVER.  Because realistically, I probably won't have this much time off for a long long time. 

And so I am resetting myself.  Re-setting (gradually) my default to deep breathing rather than reacting with the kids.  Re-setting my feeling of equilibrium.  Re-setting my level of personal fitness.  Re-setting my cleanliness standards!  And mentally preparing myself and the family for yet another big, bittersweet change for all of us. 



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